Biscuit Panic


When we moved to Alonsa we joined the local senior’s centre. This has been a positive thing for us because we have met new people and we have the use of the facilities. Hubby dearest repaired the centres pool table and he has started a casual pool game night every other Tuesday. They have a seniors dinner once a month on the last Sunday of the month. It’s a casual social affair where local ladies take turns bringing in the components of the dinner and the cost is $10 a person for anyone who doesn’t bring something. A main dish meat is purchased by the group and cooked at someone’s home. Membership is $20 a year. Being Jewish and having issues with pork is only a bit problematic because there are so many different dishes, especially salads, that we can always find something we can eat. Dinner is followed by a 50:50 draw and then bingo and card games. (About half the people leave after eating.) We first attended in May, had a lovely time, and I immediately volunteered to bring something for the next dinner. The lady in charge seemed a bit dubious about me but, finally, after insisting I could help out, she allowed me to bring “3 dozen biscuits or buns (can be store bought)” for the August dinner. I was delighted and had great plans to bring my challah buns and wow them.

We have just come through a week of intense heat with highs in the 30s and humidex values in the 40s so I have not been keeping up in the garden. Yesterday was finally cool so I spent three hours in the garden picking and weeding and then processing food. At 4:30 pm, after a gruelling day catching up, I am cleaning the last of the cucumbers and Hubby Dearest sits down at the computer and leans back. His calendar bleeps. Then he sits forward with a start. He keeps the calendar in the house and up had popped a notice saying the Senior’s dinner was today in exactly one hour. It seems in August they move the date up so as not to interfere with the harvest rush.

After he announced this, I spent an indeterminate amount of time hovering between a state of blind panic and an urge to commit murder. There is absolutely no way to make fresh buns in 1 hour. I am the new person in town. Everyone else is watching me. What kind of impression would it make if I arrived with nothing but an apology after insisting I wanted to help out? How could I ever face anyone in the town again? Eventually that horrified state passed and I started frantically thinking of options. Now I had 59 minutes to find 3 dozen buns or biscuits. If we still lived in the city, I would have simply given up on bringing my own and gone by a store and picked buns up. But this is the country, as in rural, as in the nearest store with fresh buns, that is open on a Sunday, is at least a two and a half hour drive away. There would be no easy out for me.

Now I once did have a whole bunch of my fresh buns in the freezer. However, Hubby dearest being a great aficionado of my fresh buns, had long since depleted the stock. I briefly reconsidered my decision to not murder him. I cast about frantically wondering what to do. I needed buns and quickly.

Quick breads! She said buns OR biscuits.

I have not made biscuits in many years, because I just don’t care for them, but they are fast. My next step was a frantic search for a recipe. We had very little milk and hardly anything else suitable for biscuits. A quick search on line for no milk biscuits yielded my salvation. All the ingredients were available in my kitchen and the recipe promised they could be ready in 40 minutes.

Thus we began an assembly line. I gave orders to Hubby Dearest to start the oven preheating and get the cookie sheets out and I began measuring flour, margarine, baking powder, salt and water. Just before I did the final mix, I recalled a trick for making dumplings fancier for company and I decided to dress the biscuits up a bit. I ran out to the garden, pulled up some fresh parsley and washed and finely chopped the parsley and mixed it into the dough.  I briefly kneaded the dough, rolled it out and used the lid of canning jar (which Hubby Dearest found for me after some frantic searching while I kneaded) to cut out circles of dough and then get the biscuits in the oven. The recipe was really easy, so even with the side trip to the garden, it took under 15 minutes to get them into the oven. While 5 dozen biscuits baked, we cleaned up and changed our clothing.

After 15 minutes of baking, the house began to be filled with a lovely smell and the biscuits had risen and turned lightly golden. We pulled them out of the oven, broke one open to test it (yup tastes exactly like a yucky biscuit), and we cooled them on my baking racks for five minutes. We left for the Senior’s Centre with the still steaming biscuits in a large box. As we walked over, Hubby Dearest told me he thought I was amazing. I sternly ordered him to not tell anyone about this near miss and said he better not do this to me again or he might not make it to the next Senior’s dinner.

I am pleased to report that I heard several comments like;

“Mmmm… these are still hot!”

“The butter is melting, these are so fresh.”

“Parsley in biscuits, wow that is delicious.”

“Did you really take them from the oven just before you brought them over here?”

“Delicious old fashioned biscuits! I love them!”

I just smiled and thanked folks for the compliments and acted like I had totally planned it all this way back when I was first asked to bring them. And there were 38 people and we went home with nine biscuits so people even took seconds.

Whew, we dodged a bullet that time, (especially Hubby Dearest!)

I decided to try one for breakfast. Shrug…a biscuit. I don’t really like biscuits. However I am in luck. There is never any problem in our house with disposing of such things,


Here is the recipe for no milk no eggs biscuits. If you like biscuits, these are good ones.


2 c. flour

3 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. salt

6 tbsp. oil or soft shortening

2/3 c. water

Mix all ingredients together. Add enough flour to knead easily. Knead on floured board about 30 seconds. Roll out to 1/2 inch thick. Cut with small cutter. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake at 450°F for 10 to 12 minutes.

Makes 15 to 20 biscuits.

Thank you

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